Hitting the Wall

So, it’s another Tuesday, and again, I only had 2 or 3 answers to this week’s topic, so I decided not to do it. However, I was struck by an epiphany late last night, so now is as good a time as any for another discussion (type) post. This is pretty much a continuation and answer to my post from last week, Feeling Overwhelmed. After a week of thinking about it, I finally got my answer last night, and I’ve decided to share it with you because it will have some effects on this blog.

So, last year, I was reading a lot, but I didn’t really have anyone to talk to about the books I was reading, as the few readers in my real life. My friend had a book blog, and it seemed like a good idea, but I wasn’t ready to do it. Obviously, in November, after several months of tweeting and following other book blogs on Twitter, I finally started this blog. I started it to share my feelings on what I was reading, and let’s face it, I wanted to do Top Ten Tuesdays! (Yes, this was the main reason I moved from Goodreads reviews to a blog. I loved some of the topics of TTT, and I needed somewhere to post my answers! lol) I swore I had no desire to be a huge blog and wasn’t going to let it change how I read. As in any good mystery novel, you can see the foreshadowing, right?

So, fast forward to early this year. I still didn’t want to be a huge blog, but I wanted my blog to grow, and I started getting enticed by ARCs. I don’t need hundreds of books, obviously, but what reader wouldn’t like to get a mystery box of books delivered to their house? Also, I wanted to be able to get some of my highly anticipated books sooner, since who likes to wait? I thought that the best way to grow my blog was to read and review ARCs and new releases. I needed to post at least 3 reviews per week or people were going to get bored and forget about me. For this, I am apologizing to you readers. It finally hit me last night that I would rather have 10 followers that really care about what I have to say than hundreds of followers who don’t. For those of you who have been with me, I am really sorry for letting the blog-mania get to me. I’ve read several blog posts from other bloggers about this same topic, and yet, I didn’t think it would happen to me. Joke’s on me, huh?

If you read my post last week, you know that I feel like I’m drowning in books that I need to read, and yet, I keep getting more. You know that saying that you can never have too many books? Well, I’ve realized that you can because I don’t want to spend money on books that I’m never going to read. I hate wasting money, and it needs to stop.

And I’ve realized that ARCs aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. I’ve read some ARCs that I just wasn’t crazy about. I’ve even read some new releases and popular books that I didn’t like. And if you’ve followed my reviews the last couple weeks, you know that they’ve all been 2-3 stars, and it’s frustrating. I hate feeling like I have to read, especially when the only person pressuring me is myself.

I know this is a long post, but please bear with me. Here’s how I finally came to my realization last night. After spending the last week catching up on books with deadlines, I decided to hit my library books. One of them, The 5th Wave, is due back this Thursday, and I can’t renew it. It’s 457 pages long, and I only had 5 days to read it, so I picked it up, even though it wasn’t the book I had planned on reading next. This was on Sunday. Fast forward to last night, and I’m only about 30 pages in.

Last night, I spent about 3 hours playing on my computer, listening to Harry Potter podcasts, while The 5th Wave sat unopened on the table next to me, and I realized I don’t want to read it right now. So I don’t think I’m going to. This book isn’t going anywhere. If I return it to the library unread, I can request it again later, when I’m in the mood to read it. Based on my own activities over the last couple weeks, it’s becoming increasingly obvious to everyone who knows me that I want to reread Harry Potter, but I haven’t because it’s a long series and will take a big chunk of time. And obviously, since it’ll be my 5th and 6th times through these books, I’m not going to review them, so there wouldn’t be any reviews on my blog for a while. But if I read something else, that I’m not in the mood to read, just so I can have a review on my blog? It’s probably not going to be a good review.

So, finally, here’s where the blog is being affected. I’ve hit the wall with these arbitrary rules I’ve set for myself and my blog, so I’m taking a step back. I’m going to go back to reading for pleasure, what I want to read, when I want to read it. I’m going to reread Harry Potter. My current plan is to read a different book in between HP books, which will hopefully lead to at least one review per week, but it may not happen. I may get too engrossed in the HP world and just keep going straight through. If this happens, it may be several weeks before I post a  new review. Maybe I’ll put little mini-reviews of my feelings after 5-6 reads of HP, maybe not. I hope you’ll bear with me through this because I really think my being happier with my reading will lead to better reviews and a better experience for you readers.

Now, with all that being said, that doesn’t mean I’m going to be completely absent from the blog for however long it takes me to reread HP. First of all, Shark Out of Water by Jenn Cooksey is coming out next week, and I will absolutely be reading that ASAP, so you’ll get a review of that. I have another discussion post brewing in my brain that I will post at some point. Also, I still plan on participating in Top Ten Tuesday when I have answers and WWW Wednesday, so you guys can still know what’s going on with my reading. I’m hoping to avoid Stacking the Shelves for a while, since my goal is to stop stacking my shelves and tackle some of the books I already have. Also, I still plan on participating with the Gayle Forman Read-Along, so those questions and answers will be here, too. There will still be new content on the blog, just not a ton of new reviews.

If you’ve read all this, thank you. I know it was long, but I really needed to get it off my chest. Again, I apologize for letting the ARC monster steal my soul and make my blog a stressful place, since reading is supposed to be my break from stress! And I thank those of you who stick with me after this, even if I read books that came out a decade ago! (Probably won’t happen much, but I do have some books from the last few years to catch up on!)

If you have a blog, have you gone through this? Did you make a similar choice? Feel free to discuss!



3 thoughts on “Hitting the Wall

  1. […] Hitting the Wall Jul […]

  2. […] you read my recent discussion post, you’ll know that I was not planning on reading another books about Harry Potter but to […]

  3. […] Hitting the Wall (Time to stop putting so much pressure on myself) […]

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